In my defence

I've got the whole evening ahead of me, so I thought I'd provide some reasons as to why I don't really drink.

1. I don't like the taste, hence why I often down drinks "to get rid of them". I also do this to impress people, but the taste is the deciding factor.
2. Back when I was teetotal, my stock reason was "I don't want to lose control". Before I'd ever been drunk, I was worried that I'd do some crazy shit; now I realise that I don't embarrass myself much more than when I'm sober, but I do lose control of my body and end up on the floor. Which I don't much like.
3. What I like even less than the dizziness and general loss of control are the memory blanks the next morning. While some people regard these as the benchmark of a good night, they terrify me slightly (and I'm still kicking myself for all but forgetting Rikki's important confession).
4. Speaking of Rikki's important confession, I hate throwing up. I'd make an excellent bulimic if it wasn't for this aversion. Please don't flame me for saying that, it was a joke.
5. Alcohol has the annoying effect of making me drowsy. Anyone who sees me frequently will vouch for me when I say that I'm not exactly energetic at the best of times, so feeding my tiredness with booze is just asking for trouble.
6. Another side-effect of drinking is that it makes me even hungrier than usual. I eat too much as it is!
7. I have yet to experience a hangover, and have no desire to do so.
8. It costs money. I'd rather spend money on cake, or clothes, or something that I'm actually going to enjoy experiencing.

I feel compelled to point out to my few readers that I have nothing against people who do drink: I have a "do what you like, just don't force me to get involved" mentality. Besides, my boyfriend is a self-confessed alcoholic.